Our Basics

We work hard at our home on atmosphere.  Atmosphere has a broad meaning.  I try as I manage my home to create an environment that is tidy (not immaculate), appealing to the eye and smells good.  But the aspect of atmosphere I’m speaking about today is an air of safety and respect.

Courtesy

Simply stated, we have learned to extend courtesy to all within our home.  Often folks are more polite in public than in their homes.  We work hard at extending polite verbal behavior.  Thank you is one of our well-used phrases.  Speaking with respect makes so much difference when it comes to ‘making a point’.  We try to be considerate concerning another’s level of stress, need for privacy or to vent about an issue.  Just a simple consideration of volume levels of music, computer and television makes good sense.

Dignity

Years of living in a home also produce an ongoing increase in recognizing the worth and dignity of all members.  Each person’s specific situation is important to that individual, so his or her feelings or sense of urgency are real.  For instance a child’s scraped knee hurts, so I offer a caring smile regardless of the size of that scrape. That child is valuable.  Another example, when someone tells a story of victory he deserves an affirming listener.

We intentionally try to value everyone who is in our home whether he/she resides here or is just visiting.  If guests are spending an evening in our home we want them to sense a freedom to express their beliefs.  We may not agree with their thinking, but they are entitled to voice their thoughts.

Timing

Timing is everything! Co-existing is challenging to say the least.  So when an issue needs to be discussed, take into account the mood and stress level of those with whom you will be talking or debating.  If your spouse has had a bad day, is rushed to meet a schedule, or mentally overloaded, it is not the right time!  And when that time comes, tone of voice is of paramount importance.  A non-condemning, calm and average volume level voice is the plus that can bring success to the outcome of the conversation.