Safe Harbor

One of my unforgettable childhood memories is the feeling of safety when I stepped through the door after a day of school. Elementary school presents so many new experiences. Just like every other child I was overwhelmed by the ABC’s and classroom dynamics. I walked six blocks to my neighborhood school rain or shine, many days through mounds of snow. When I returned to my home after a full day I knew I would be walking into a safe place. My home was my harbor. I felt anchored and secure.

For example, my Mom was a homemaker therefore I usually could smell dinner as it cooked on the stove. There was sense of safety in routine.  My Dad, a milkman, delivered dairy products door to door, trudging through the same seasonal weather day and night. Yes, night! He put in extraordinary hours. Dad came home bone-tired but, he always worked. He provided for his family at times holding three jobs. I was convinced of my security. My home was an anchor.

Lest you think I’m presenting an unreal picture, our family had problems, just like all do. But the care and love that filled the house won out. I see many blended and single-parent homes that offer incredible strength and assurance to their loved ones.

These life-forming memories influenced me as I began making my own home for my husband and three children. So, of course, when my fourteen grandchildren walk through my door I want them to experience that very same emotion and sureness. I have focused on several strategies over the years to aid me in my quest. More on that later…

Atmosphere Makes the Difference

I use intentional energy to create a pleasant atmosphere.  For me atmosphere is both emotional and sensual.   Concentrating on connected relationships with family and friends while hoping to make new memories, is a focus.  For the most part, I manage our home.  As a woman I’ve discovered that my attitude is usually the mood-setter for family or visiting friends.  My mood can set a positive or negative tone.  Attitudes are contagious.   Setting a standard in my mind for basic courtesy to be a habit, promotes a return of that courtesy by the folks in the home.  Even when it is just me and my husband living the average normal day, we make every effort to apply courtesy to our interaction.

I totally enjoy pleasing the five senses through my decorating and baking.  The little extras like place mats, seasonal tablecloths, fresh warm zucchini bread or playing some favorite background music are worth the extra time.  Our casual meals served in our cozy breakfast nook even deserve a centerpiece of some sort.  I placed some antique books, candle and tea pot to complete our atmosphere one fall day.  I wish I would have realized years ago how important the entry way or the entry room is.  It has turned out to be key in a guest’s response to looking forward to the visit, anticipating sitting down over coffee to share a discussion.   “Welcome to our home,” are the first words I say to first time visitors.  And it’s said from the heart!

There's No Place Like Home

My favorite place to be is home.  I often think of Dorothy clicking her ruby slippers repeating, “There’s no place like home!  There’s no place like home!”  Her words ring true in my life.  Arriving at this state of heart took a lot of effort on my part.

We moved many times, sometimes it was not our building or city of choice since our employer determined our destination. Other homes were excitedly hand-picked.  Over the years I have found the challenge of creating a welcoming home an enjoyable and rewarding one.  I’ve discovered various tools, through trial and error, that help to build the desired outcome.  Whether our homes are single-parent or the traditional two-parent status the same basic ideas are helpful.

Top on my ‘outcome’ list is a welcoming and warm home.  Secondly my hope is to offer an environment of safety and refuge.  My targeted zones are relationships and atmosphere.  Of course my job is never done but the process is intriguing.